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Coza

He felt like a warlord. He always had his aides around him. Anytime he spoke, it was like a decree. He ruled and reigned at Westcroft. The teachers did not know what to do with him anymore. Different strategies had been put in place to support him. He defied every known and well tested strategy. He felt he was the boss and was growing up to be like Pablo Escobar. He was the wrong model for kids and he was the role model for those aspiring to be like the Escobar.

Coza lived with his mother, Loreen, in a council estate. The mother had him when she was sixteen. She was a kid herself when she had him. Loreen shoved Coza over to her mother Doris, to look after. Doris had Loreen when she was fifteen and when she took full custody of Coza, Doris was thirty three years old. So, the real person whom Coza grew up with was Doris. Coza starting living with Doris when he was about two years old and at fourteen years of age, he did not have a relationship with his mother, doesn’t have a clue about his father and does not hear male voices around him.

Loreen was given a council flat and subsidized utilities. You could never catch her with an unlit cigarette. She felt cool with herself and was dreaded in the estate. She would pick a fight with you anytime of the day without an iota of thought. She was ferocious. Her mouth was as sharp as a razor blade. She had no GCSEs, no plans for the future, than to wake up and be a gangster.

Luck shined upon Loreen and she did manage to get a job at the local Tesco’s but her bad attitude was not an ally of hers. She would not report to work on time. She struggled with team work. She had poor interpersonal skills and was a dread to work with. She disrespected authority and lacked communication skills. Her manager was a supportive lady who tried to bring out the best in her. Since she was garrulous, Brenda tried to switch her into a different department, where she would be able to convert her talking trait into something productive. She accused Brenda of not liking her and wanting to move her away from her job.

Brenda could not cope with her, so she was moved over to Mr. Roshan’s team. Mr. Roshan had a reputation as a Mr. Patience. He has worked in Tesco for over twenty years and climbed the ranks. He started off as a night staff, unpacking items and stacking on the shelves, moved over to the till and grew to become a team leader, supervisor, assistant manager, and manager. He was a good worker. He went to the local Croydon College and studied there till he got a degree. When you look at Mr. Roshan, no matter how hopeless your situation may have been in life, you would be inspired to dream.

Loreen carried on with that same attitude. She forgot that she was a mother. She forgot that she had a future to face. She forgot that someday, in the future, she would look back in time and wish that she could reverse the clock. She forgot that biology is irreversible.

Mr. Roshan never gives up on anybody in life. He tried everything possible to help Loreen succeed. Loreen was just an inch away from being sacked.

Mr. Roshan could not take her lackadaisical attitude anymore and told her to get herself together or he would be forced to apply the template. “You want to end up like the rest of the folks in the streets, yeah?” he cautioned her.  All hell was let loose. She lounged at Mr. Roshan and fought the manager accusing him of saying bad things about her and disrespecting her. She accused Mr. Roshan of racism. She held Mr. Roshan by the neck tie and all attempts to disentangle her from Mr. Roshan failed. As patient as a predator waiting for its prey, Mr. Roshan waited. Then Loreen kicked Mr. Roshan in the groin area, and Mr. Roshan lost it, bent down in a swift like an eagle would do to a prey and jacked her straight into the air and slammed her on the floor. That was what changed Loreen. Loreen was never the same from that day. She changed!

Coza was finally sent off to Feltham, a young offender’s institute. The entire Westcroft celebrated the departure of Coza. Nobody obviously wished anybody to be sent to Feltham but for Coza, it was everybody’s wish that he got sent there especially after what he did to young Nick. Nick is the sort of guy that wouldn’t hurt a fly according to those who knew him. A fresh year seven intake into Westcroft. Coza asked Nick to handover his sandwich and lunch money to him and Nick refused. Coza and his boys beat the hell out of Nick causing severe body injury. Coza was excluded from Westcroft. His mum, Loreen was not the sort, you could hold a decent conversation with. Coza’s father was never seen and nobody knew where the man was. Doris his grandmother was fed up and tired of coming to Westcroft. She could not control Coza.

Nick’s dad pressed charges for causing bodily injury to his son. Coza’s records were dug out and it was decided that time to send him off to Feltham. If he was eighteen, he should have been sent to a proper prison.

Eight months after his departure to Feltham, Sean got an early release back from Feltham. He brought news about Coza. He said that Coza was as quiet as a mouse trapped in a trap who had exhausted his energy trying to escape only to find out that it was a futile attempt. He said they bullied Coza at Feltham without mercy and did things to him that he did not like.

Twelve months later at Thornton Heath station, stood a young man with a megaphone on his hand proclaiming “repent, repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand. Flee from all your evil deeds”. People walked past and continued with their business.

“Coza, Coza is that you?” a young lady exclaimed.

“It is written in the volume of the book of life, I come to do the will of my father” the voice blared on.

A young mother tugged her son along, a few faces turned in that direction, a few ran past to catch their trains and two people stood still to listen to this voice.

“Heaven and earth shall pass away but my words shall not pass way”.

“Coza, Coza, is that you?” the young lady kept asking.

“Old things are passed away and I am now a new person. I am now Bartholomew”, that voice declared.

 

Uwem Mbot Umana©2017

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35 Comments

  • Kalu Chisom Joel Posted August 2, 2020 11:58 pm

    The story of Coza (or Bartholomew as he shall henceforth be known as post- Feltham) is a story that shows us the importance of making hay while the sun shines. I must admit, Coza’s transformation into a winner of souls for Christ took me by surprise ; it is not often you witness people as badly behaved as he was, turn a new leaf.
    It is glaringly obvious from the onset that Coza had no good role models to lead him down the right hand nor did he have someone in his life who possessed a firm hand to curb his dictator-like ways. His mother (and mother before her) failed to set a proper example for Coza, and he did as he pleased, wreaking havoc in Westcroft, picking on young Nick and generally being a menace to society.
    His mother Loreen, a cantankerous woman in her own right, refused to grasp the opportunity given to her via her job and caused trouble at every turn. Mr Roshan, a reputably patient man even lost his cool with her, seeing as she refused to deviate from her ways. This shows that some people fail to take advantage of the chances given to them and like Loreen, they pay dearly for it.
    Coza’s change of behavior is a valuable reminder to us all that no matter how bad or ill-mannered someone is, there is always hope for that person. This lesson should not be forgotten in a hurry.

  • Emmanuel Talabi Posted August 2, 2020 9:58 pm

    A very straight and interesting read.

    One could see from this story how influence could clearly change someone, either in a good way or in a bad way – Ranging from Loren’s manager reposed resolution in seeing a changed Loren to Mr. Roshan patience to see something good come out of a tyrant, to the influence the correctional facility had on COZA, it’s just saddening that the former rejected all advances of a positive turn-around from her good superior, and had to have her fate handled to “life-changing” punch!

    Also, it is worthy to note how the lack o love from a parent had a devastating effect on the character, COZA, the Christian Sacred Book clearly pointed out to “train one’s child at a young age, only them he wouldn’t depart from it when he is old”, unfortunately for COZA, there was no parent love, no proper upbringing, no moral training, and we can see this tragedy went on to have a tainting effect on COZA, this is a call out to parents, upcoming, intending etc. never to deprive a child of affection, of moral upbringing, no matter how difficult it may seem.

    In all, it was nice to see that COZA became a changed man, there can be no higher pleasure than that.

    This is a really nice story.

  • Patrick Udofia Posted August 2, 2020 9:56 pm

    This Short Story talk about the Ethics of Life
    And I am proud to be among one of the Competitors

  • Paul Elakhe Posted August 2, 2020 6:50 pm

    “Coza” is an enthralling story of unimaginable behavioral mutation of a seemingly vicious and irredeemable boy. Coza was set in his ways, he was a slime ball, as stubborn as a mule. He was a whim of iron, bloody-minded, obnoxious and impulsive. His mother was a pain in the neck and a tear away at home and at work, she was an all sizzle and no steak lady, she broke all rules in the book and was tactless. What worked well in the story was the writer’s ability to generate a strong excitement at reading and a sturdy imagery of a morally abhorrent behavioral transfer from mother to child. The Characters drove the story and the plot evolved naturally.

    Bad behavior causes have no definitive answer. Emotional changes, genetics and lifestyle play an important role. Coza’s behavior might be a product of his temperament or probably learnt by mimicking the behavior modeled for him by his mum. It evident that there is a correlation between the parent’s conduct and a child’s attitude toward life. I liked the fact that the emotional energy of the story was ramped up by Coza’s repentance like Saul of Tarsus whose name was changed to Paul so was Coza’s name changed to Bartholomew. Unfeigned repentance dug the foundations and cleared away the rubbish of his past.

    My attention is drawn to Lorren’s deadly stubbornness. It had the ability to short circuit her brain, it exhausted all the sanity in her, crushed her spirit, exhumed every bit of sanity from the deepest recesses of her body. It wiped out dreams of fairy tale endings, changed her views on life and turned her into cynical person. Nevertheless, what an exhilarating joy to read about her transformation after Mr. Roshan slammed her on the floor. However, Mr. Roshan’s response is not an endorsement for bridling negative behavior.

    At the end, the Author tied up loosed ends and answered unresolved questions in the mind of the readers. Both Loreen and Coza came to the end of themselves and their hearts were transformed by God using prevailing circumstances. Nevertheless more would have been said about Loreen’s transformation.

  • Kosi Posted August 2, 2020 6:20 pm

    Interesting read I must say.
    The story simply tells “Nobody is certain of the future.”
    Matthew 12:7 (The Golden Rule) Do unto others, as you’d have themdo unto you.
    What worked well was portraying the golden Rule through the life’s of the characters.
    The apple didn’t fall far from the tree for the Loreen, Doris and Coza. Loreen and Doris were both children when they became mothers, they didn’t have any idea of the term “Motherhood” or how to handle responsibilities as a Mother”. Loreen didn’t want anything to do with Coza so she shipped him off to the same person that raised her (did she even think he’d change?).

    Loreen, irresponsible mother, mannerless, a fighter and hopeless without a plan for the future, managed to get a job with all her toxic traits. I thought getting a job would change her attitude but it didnt (I expected her to get fired immediately but she had a supportive manager, Brenda, who tried to bring out the best in her by moving her to where she’d be more productive).
    She accused Brenda.
    She continued like this till she had an unexpected experience with Mr. Roshan a.k.a Mr. Patience that changed her for the better. He earlier tried his best helping her but was rewarded with disrespect and accusations.

    Coza, likened to “The Pablo Escobar” must have been a tyrant. He felt like a warlord. His Grandmother and mother followed a negative trend of teenage pregnancies. Loreen failed to give proper home training and absence of a father figure. Till he was fourteen, he had not heard male voices around him and must have felt superior being surrounded by females hence his bullying trait. Everyone had tried different strategies to support him but all failed until the incident with Nick being assaulted and was sent to Feltham, a juvenile.

    While in Feltham, I honestly thought he’d be “King” but he got a taste of his own medicine.
    Lesson: Galatians 6:7b (What you sow, you reap). You can’t sow rice and reap orange. Sow good, reap good and vice versa.
    Coza and his mother deserved what they got especially when everyone tried their best to help.

    What caught my attention was the unexpected transformation of Coza from a hopeless tyrant to an evangelist of the Gospel. I never imagined Coza would become a calm person but thanks to the Feltham Experience that changed his life.

    I hoped the writer could have told what “Change” exactly meant for Loreen, the Feltham Experience that changed Coza, who Sean was and was it Coza that was actually evangelising.
    I also wish there could be a reunion between Mother and Child (but oh well, I’m not the writer🙂).
    I would have preferred a different storyline for Mr. Roshan’s actions instead of taking matters into his own hands by hitting Loreen. (Loreen was a handful though but then he was wrong to have done that. There are other ways of change that doesn’t involve being physical).

    Once again, an interesting read. Cheers to the writer.

  • Boluwatife Dahunsi Posted August 2, 2020 12:15 pm

    What a transformation story! Truly, no one is irredeemable, no matter how worse. This story centers around a tyrant child, devoid of a parent’s love, a spineless ambitionless mother who chooses to abandon her child for a life of hooliganism; world apart but linked by their seeming interest in thuggery, vandalism, and bullying. One could literally say Coza is truly his mother’s son. The writer bridging a gap between parent and child, employer and employees, whilst bringing to light how negligence on a child or on a co-worker/staff could be disastrous, worked well.

    The story is simply captivating. The simple use of words and figures of speech were top notch. The writer really made good use of paragraphs to create an epic storyline. I could picture every event in my mind. How the writer was able to create different realities for each character in the story, that somehow fits, be linked and classified excites me. Nobody, no matter how far gone can be irredeemable, and this fact was played in the life of Coza (now Bartholomew)

    Coza must have been very terrible to be likened to Pablo Escobar, one of the biggest drug lord in history. His grandmother (who could easily have been taken as his mother, for the age factor) and mother had both followed a negative trend of teenage pregnancies. Up until the age of fourteen, he’d not heard male voices around him, meaning he had grown up among females and must have been made to feel superior; hence his bullying and recklessness.

    Loreen, his irresponsible mother, was a fighter, rude talker and a visionless woman who cared less about the future. She managed to get a job with all of her bad habits. How rare is it to find employers/managers that are really interested in the personal affairs of their employers/subordinates! Loreen could have been easily dismissed, but for a concerned and supportive manager, Brenda, and a patient Mr. Roshan, who at the height of her troubles in a fight, was able to give her a resetting hit. How amazing that a physical hit was capable of bringing about a change in a rugged lady. Astonishing!

    I’m happy Coza changed! He was seen preaching after about 20 months since he was sent to Feltham. The impact of correctional facilities on thugs cannot be over emphasized. I wonder why the writer never told us who Sean (who brought back tidings) is, in the first place.

    The writer could have been more explicit about Loreen, how she came to be mother, and what became of her after the transforming fiasco with Mr. Roshan. A reunion between a changed mother and son would have been lovely.

  • Akan Uboh Posted August 2, 2020 11:13 am

    After reading this Short Story about Coza it was intriguing and had a happy ending
    I must to say very impressive,Kudos to the Writer

  • Anna Posted August 2, 2020 11:12 am

    Imagine a world-other than the fictitious, depicted microcosmic reality of movies- where light overcomes darkness;
    where virtue duels with vices and comes out tops;
    where religious impartation ousts inculcation (or the lack of it);
    Where upbringing is no determinant of the quantum or possibility of one’s eventual spiritual uplifting.;
    Where reality trumps rational expectations…
    That’s neither a utopian world as that is at best an illusion; nor a dystopian society…Rather, it is a world of possibilities, of hope…one in which one’s upbringing and past actions do not necessarily determine one’s future. That is the epilogual world portrayed by this story- and this recognition accorded the possibility and dynamism of change is what worked well. It is evinced in/by the writer’s narration of COZA’s complete transformation from a domestic terrorist to an evangelist.
    Also commendable is the fact that, leading up to this point, the world depicted was one of just desserts- one in which everyone reaps what he/she sows. This concept of just desserts is one that is both alien (in terms of execution) and ironically familiar in our contemporary socio-juridical milieu. It is evidenced in the fact that COZA was sent to a correctional facility for battering Nick, while his mom-Loreen, was dealt with by Mr. Roshan after she violently assaulted him without rational provocation on his part.
    This story further affirms the ecclesiastical mantra that admonishes one to train up a child in an upright manner. This is justified on the ground(s) that failure to do so sets off some sort of chain reaction. It also alludes to the need to ensure that one is emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually and psychologically mature before making a decision to rear children. Loreen’s mom-Doris, had her when she was fifteen and Loreen had COZA when she was little more than a bumbling child (at 16). The resultant effect of this generational immaturity and ineptitude was that, both Laureen and her son, COZA, turned out really badly with horrible attitudes to match.
    What I liked most about the story was Coza’s eventual transformation from a badly behaved bully to an evangelizing believer and the attendant, implicit message of hope and change. In addition, I like the tacit allusion to the importance of an upright father figure who could double as a role model, in a child’s life. On a more technical level, I particularly enjoyed the writer’s use of simple, uncomplicated language to tell the story.
    What caught my attention was the similarity between Loreen and COZA’s attitude owing to their upbringing. Captivating also, was the unexpected plot twist that chronicled COZA’S virtual 360 degrees transformation from a hopeless teenage tyrant to a vibrant preacher. In addition, the vivid disparity in Loreen’s bad attitude and her employer- Mr Roshan’s laudable demeanour, was quite interesting.
    I have a problem however with how Mr Roshan took matters into his hands by hitting Loreen after she assaulted him. It makes a mockery of the writer’s initial mention of how Mr Roshan never gave up on anybody. The virtuosity of Mr Roshan’s character as painted by the writer, would have fared better, if the writer had written that Mr Roshan called the police or did something along that line. In addition, this story would be a lot better and relatable if detailed explanations were given as regards what happened to COZA in feltham and what happened to Loreen after Mr Roshan hit her. All the writer did in the latter case was to mention that she ‘changed’. This is very vague and lends itself to divergent possibilities. On a brighter note however, it does keeps the readers guessing so, there’s that.

  • Aimée Posted August 2, 2020 12:38 am

    What a story!

    Reading this piece just reinforces the fact that no one knows what life has in store for them. Also, what goes around, comes around. What worked well was the writer’s ability to portray this through Loreen and Coza’s behaviours and this, I liked the most. It seemed like a thread. Loreen’s mother had her at 15, she had Coza at 16. They were both children when they became mothers and the outcome of their children was nothing worth writing about. Loreen was the worst and everyone had to tolerate her behaviour. She finally got a good job but things didn’t change til she had an unexpected experience with Mr Roshan. Mr Roshan had his taste of Loreen. He tried his best to help her but his help was misinterpreted for accusations and disrespect. Her action towards Mr Roshan brought out a side no one had seen and that did it for Loreen. She was never the same again.

    On the part of Coza, Loreen failed to give him the home training he needed and with the absence of a father figure in his life, his future wasn’t so hopeful. His grandmother, Doris, was fed up with his character. Everyone was tired of Coza. He was completely out of control and nothing anyone did seemed to yield results. Finally, after physically assaulting Nick, things changed for him. Fortunately, he wasn’t old enough to be imprisoned, so he was sent to a young offender’s institute.

    During his stay in Feltham, one would have thought he would rule the place like a king but the news from Sean showed otherwise. Coza got a taste of his own medicine.

    We should note that in life, we often get what’s coming to us. Sow good seeds, reap good fruits. Sow bad seeds, reap bad fruits. Loreen and Coza both deserved what was coming to them. Everyone did their best to help them but they resisted such help and look how their lives turned out. Lesson for the youths.

    What caught my attention was the ending. The writer also did a good job adding a twist. No one would have expected Coza to become a calm person but whatever happened at Feltham changed his life. For someone who had a very bad record in life, being a preacher would be the last thing on anyone’s mind. But then again, noone knows what life has in store for them but certainly, actions have consequences and Coza and his mum paid for theirs.

    I wish the writer could have told us what happened to Loreen. What her change meant. Also, what really happened in Feltham that changed Coza. Was Coza actually the one evangelizing?

    A lot of suspense here but an interesting read👍

  • Eseme Lilian Posted August 2, 2020 12:02 am

    This story is a very interesting story that tells us that change is the only constant thing in Life. Many times things happen that leads people to living the kind of life that would make anyone not want to associate with the person, but somethings can happen and the person’s perspective in life will change.

    What worked out well in this story was that Coza been sent to Feltham was a life changing experience for him as he met with situation that restricted his rascally ways as he met his match and even worse, he was bullied and mistreated this obviously gave him cause to have a thought of changing his life which he did and this led him to being a preacher.

    What I like the most was that after he accepted the training and his life changed for the better, he was willing to also change the lives many others by preaching to them about the importance of give their lives to Christ and also living a responsible life,he even went as far as preaching on the street and was not ashamed of been seen inspite of his poor reputation he was bold to proclaim his faith as a changed life.

    What caught my attention the most is that Loreen was so naive and forgot that she is a mother and prefers to be a gangster all her life and she was so ill mannered even at work she didn’t recognize authority but was fortunate to have managers who were able to handle her and try to make her a better person.

    What the writer should have done differently was to have told us what became of Loreen, how Coza started all over again apart from being a preacher , also what was the reactions of the people who knew him before he changed.

    The story shows us how bad parenting can lead to raising a very irresponsible personality. This is a very toughing story.

  • Joel-Levi Omotayo Posted August 1, 2020 10:36 pm

    This story is very captivating to the mind it really describes how one’s life can be heading for destruction and turned around when one is confined and faces more harsh conditions, the fact still remains that time wasted cannot be bought by money.
    What worked well in the story was the fact that Coza became a preacher.
    What I like the most in the story was that in spite of Loreens attitude she was opportune to have worked with a company and her manager did all he could to help her keep her job even the fight she had with Mr Roshan was good for a change in her life.
    What caught my attention the most was that going to Feltham was good enough to turn Cozas life around from a rascal to a preacher, that showed a positive outcome of the months he had spent there.
    What the writer should have done differently was to tell us the name and reason of the lady who was calling him while he was preaching and what actually became of Loreen as at the time Coza was in Feltham,how she was when he came out and what effect his life had on her.He also should have further explained how Coza started out his life till he became such a handful. It is obvious that the bad influence from his mother was really responsible.He also should have told us how she coped without Cozas father in her life.
    A very interesting story that points to us the need to have positive influences around us.

  • Joseph Ogunyomi Posted August 1, 2020 10:25 pm

    COZA

    The story is one in a million, brief but enormous in the mind of the readers, It revealed the effect of bad parenting on a developing child. Coza was a thug while his mother Loreen was a gangster even his grandmother Doris belonged to the streets, they are birds of a feather. People tried in a friendly manner to caution them from their unscrupulous acts only to see their effort come to nothing. Coza and Loreen eventually turned a new leaf after they had learnt to do so in a hard way.

    What worked well was the statements the writer used in describing some major Character of the story I.e “he felt like the boss and was growing to be like Pablo Escobar” this definitely gave the reader the idea of how notorious Coza was, I for example, I have read about Pablo Escobar and I knew how dreaded he was during his lifetime. The figurative expression the writer used in describing Nick’s calmness was superb,
    the content of the story enabled the reader to have insight on the kind of background Coza had , Doris had Loreen when she was just fifteen, Loreen had Coza at a very young age when she was supposed to be in high school, she shoved away the little boy and never bothered to go check on him, Loreen had no plan for the future all she cared about was smoking and nuisance, perhaps she took after Doris (her mother). All these applications worked well and added beauty to the story.

    What I like the most is that the short story had moderate number of character and each character’s roles were well defined. I also like how Coza changed after several tortures in Feltham including the life changing smackdown on Loreen from the angered Mr Roshan. all these reminded me of a statement I heard in a movie which says “no matter how bad ass u are there is always someone who is more bad ass than you”.

    What caught my attention the most was the first paragraph, after reading through the opening sentence “he felt like the war lord” I immediately became eager to know more about the subject, this intention made me slow down the pace at which I read to the lowest level because I couldn’t afford to miss any word.

    A well written story but the writer could have tell us more about Sean, who was he? was he one of Coza’s gang or just a random prisoner ?.

  • Marcus-Philemon Omotayo Posted August 1, 2020 9:50 pm

    The story depicts beautifully that one way or the other in life whether you know it or not we got a second chance at life.
    Coza’s journey from being a notorious boy to a preacher was well presented in the story by the writer this really worked well for me in the story.
    What I liked the most in the story was that even though Mr Rushan was a very patient man and did all he could to change Loreen,He was able to tame her by slamming her on the floor after she tried to fight him.
    The very fact that Loreens behaviour and way of life which was very poor had a influence on Coza have caught my attention the most.Thus stating an obvious fact that in life someone somewhere is watching so at all times we must try to be at our best behaviour.
    The writer should have explained further where Coza was at the beginning and what led to his staying with his grandmother this part was quite confusing.
    One thing I learnt from the story was that we should always have the right influence around us so that our lives can be straight forward as we work towards our ambitions. kudos to the writer.

  • Nwakpuda Joseph-Josue Posted August 1, 2020 3:10 am

    This story depicts beautifully how one way or another whether we know it or not we get a second chance at life. Coza’ s journey from being a notorious boy to a preacher was well worked by the writer and it didn’t even seen cliche. I was very impressed by the manner in which the writer wrote about how loreen behavior affected coza whether she realized it or not. The way loreen was set straight is my highlight of this story. One of the things that caught my attention was Mr Roshan’s character. The character was written beautifully and his deep resolve to help a person no matter the cost was very striking. The other standout thing was how the actions of a parent could have such a damaging effect on an offspring. Everyone has a choice for how their life turns out but Coza ‘s problem was buried so deep inside him that as shown in the story only God could solve. It just shows that as human sometimes we can try all we can like Coza ‘s grandmother did but only God can really change a person. A major observation was the way minor characters were introduced. It could have been done with a least a sense of backstory.

  • Jone Oghojamuni Posted July 31, 2020 11:04 pm

    Enthralling.

    This completely kept me glued till the last word.

    While I’m relatively pleased about the life’s journey of COA, I’m completely excited that he was able to undergo a complete change at the correctional facility, and that he came out a “Bartholomew”, this really made me envisage that no human is a lost cause, no matter how diehard they may seem, and that one’s beginning, background, fault, is no pointer to how they will end up, and this theory played out in his mother’s life too.

    I really like how the writer was able to simplify the story in paragraphs, and figure of speeches. It is enough to keep one engaged till the end.

    Nice one.

  • Chukwudi Ginika Posted July 31, 2020 5:07 pm

    This is my first time reading a very short straightforward story. The story talks about the how the negligence of parent can affect the life and future of one’s child and also the absence of a father in ones life too,because both coza and his mom didn’t know their fathers..I’m glad to know that coza turned a new leaf and saw life in a better way…
    WHAT WORKED WELL IN THE STORY?
    For me it’s the connection between the few persons that were mentioned and a little story about them,from coza,his school,his mom,grand mom,Loreen’s boss and co-worker,everything rhymed.
    WHAT DID YOU LIKE THE MOST?
    What I liked the most was how explanatory it was, even with the vocabulary it was still straight forward.in other words the simplicity of the story.
    WHAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION?
    what caught my attention was the fact that coza could see life in the best way and he changed for the better,and he even changed his name to Bartholomew and became a new creature in God.
    WHAT I THINK THE WRITER DID DIFFERENTLY?
    What I think the writer could have done differently was extending the story a few more lines at the end I would have loved to read more of coza’s reply to the young lady.
    Thank you.

  • Chukwudi Ginika Posted July 31, 2020 4:43 pm

    This is my first time reading a very short straightforward story. The story talks about the how the negligence of parent can affect the life and future of one’s child and also the absence of a father in ones life too,because both coza and his mom didn’t know their fathers..I’m glad to know that coza turned a new leaf and saw life in a better way…cool story

  • Solape Adetutu Adeyemi Posted July 31, 2020 4:29 pm

    Nice read. No need for the she was a kid herself when she had him ad you had already stated her age being 16. A mixture of present and past tense clashed in he doesn’t know His father and a few other places.

  • Mascot Posted July 31, 2020 3:03 pm

    Indeed, we all need a second chance. But we all deserve what’s good.. Interesting story

  • Tiwatope Posted July 31, 2020 12:05 pm

    Well, this was a nice story. The title caught my attention.
    I liked the way the author described Coza and his mother and some of the actions they did.
    The story talks about the importance of a father figure in a family. Coza’s grandmother was a single mother who didn’t know how to raise her daughter well. Her frustrations with her daughter probably led to the bad upbringing of her daughter. This included her daughter getting pregnant as a teenager to an unknown man. Coza was born to a mother who couldn’t take care of him and handed over to a grandmother who was not much better. Coza was seeking attention but in the wrong way.
    There was sometimes a back and forth in the use of tenses in the story that caused a little confusion.
    I’m happy with the ending, that Mr Patient did his best and was able to get Loreen changed. (Similar to ‘sometimes you got to fight to be a man). Also Coza was changed and he desired a better life for himself, hence not just change in his behaviour but also change in his name (old things have passed away).

  • Ekwere Posted July 31, 2020 9:03 am

    The book was very interesting…..

  • Liz Nwairu Posted July 30, 2020 9:59 pm

    There is always a reward for any choice we make and it is good to give people a second chance in life.
    It’s quite interesting that although the fight was between Loreen and Mr. Roshan, no one blamed Mr. Roshan. That shows that good character pays. Mr Roshan otherwise known as Mr. Patience would not ordinarily go into a fight unlike Loreen but I guess he could not help it because Loreen had crossed boundaries.
    It’s heartwarming to see that Coza made the best of the second chance life offered him.
    It would have been cool if the writer had told us a little about the new changed Loreen.

  • Sue Nwairu Posted July 30, 2020 9:56 pm

    There are consequences for the choices we make.
    Everyone deserves a second chance and I really loved that Coza made good use of the second chance he had in life and it was also good that Loreen changed after all.

    Coza becoming a preacher at the end of the story tells me that truly no one is hopeless.

    The writer should have given us more details on the exact event that led to Coza’s conversion and a little glimpse into Loreen’s life after she changed.

    Thank you

  • Elnathan Posted July 30, 2020 5:54 pm

    Thank You!

  • Elnathan Posted July 30, 2020 5:54 pm

    Let us all join hands together, and preach the importance of a mother in a child’s life.

  • Elnathan Posted July 30, 2020 5:52 pm

    I was completely awed at Coza’s brand-new christian character.
    Coza was a nuisance to school authority, he totally got them fed up with his misdemeanor and felony. His cup got so full, and it led to him being sent to Feltham.
    I wouldn’t really blame Coza for his poor behaviour, because according to my opinion it is due to lack of motherly love.
    Loreen attitude showed that she did not care about life, her future, and most especially her child.
    The lesson here helps us know that mothers are a very important contribution to the lives of children.
    A saying goes that “what we are today is a result of the mother’s contribution/care/good upringing in the life of a child”.
    Children need a lot of guidance from the mother, and as the saying goes”a mother is the first teacher of a child”.
    In summary, a mother plays a very great role in the developing life of a child.

  • Victor Nkereuwem Posted July 30, 2020 12:49 am

    A. What really worked well in the story was the character “Coza” himself. With the story I could imagine the fierce, brutal, cruel, Savage, violent, aggressive and viscous character Coza. Morever, the story communicated the essence of parental training and care and it’s impact in influencing our attitude just like Coza’s attitude. Just like Coza’s life, a life not well planned is doomed for failure and regrets. Regrets aren’t fantasies they are real and irreversible.
    B. What I really like in this story is the writers choice of words. I also liked the transition between the paragraphs.
    C. What really caught my attention was the unique and unprecedented character , “Mr. Roshan,” though Coza never realized this, but we need more of such men in our world today. He was ready to tell Coza the bitter truth without sentiment or bias.
    C. I think the writer would’ve done a better job by telling us what happened to Coza at Fetham amd what really changed him? Was it the purnishment in the prison or someone talked to him? what did he hear that made him change? How did he get to hear the gospel?
    Great piece! Expecting more of this Sir.

  • Enyeodu Udofia Posted July 29, 2020 12:40 pm

    Woooow! This ebook is classic. I was so glued to it till I finished it and the Message is spot on! God bless the writer!!

  • Debby Posted July 28, 2020 11:42 pm

    A story of climax!
    Full of imageries of a lady whose mum had no value for decency!

    No understanding of what her mum might have gone through raising Coza!

    A lady who never saw her earlier errors but woke into more abusive nature irrespective of the kindness shown her…

    One who laid her bed in a rough way to achieve a similar replication of herself!

    The irony , so obvious between the patient and selfless Mr Roshan and her inpatient and selfish self!

    The similar bad natured personalities of mother and son creates a dramatic monologue of people who are projected as examples of societal change by the writer!

    The usage of similes by the writer when Mr Roshan jerked her like an eagle would to it’s prey intensifies the imagery.

    The fight leading to a good end automatically changed Loreen, and Coza’s bullying his peer, leads to an equally dramatic and similar change of a mom and son who had similar behavioural issues!

    People are changed by the climax of this written story after they both face similar consequences of bad attributes. Here, the climax of mother and son.

    Two villians are seen changing for good!

    The happy ending, a comedy is obvious when Coza becomes a child of God who began living the contrary of who he was.

    A story with traces of an eventual tragedy, turns around for good to becoming a comedy, what an irony!

    ‘Good triumphs over evil, will be a great title!

  • Tomioluwaleye Posted July 28, 2020 2:01 pm

    This is so good

    • Joseph Umoh Posted July 30, 2020 10:10 pm

      Well… The story is one to go home home with. It really show case that whatever you do has a unique pattern of getting around to affect you too. I think the writing should should set out a scenerio where coza and his mum regret of their bad attitude. It really pinpoint that attitude is everything…

  • Sophia Akpan Posted July 28, 2020 3:15 am

    Yes!!🙏

    Yes!!🙌🙌

    “I come only for my father’s will”
    “Heaven and Earth shall but my words shall not pass away”🙌🙌🙏🙏😊😊

    ___The Volume of the Book of Life

    😂😂🙏Hope I hadn’t no one jerking…😁😁😊 My apologies if I…🙏🙏

    I am innocently alerted and happier then before.

    #WHAT WORKED WELL IN THE STORY ?
    Everything did, sincerely. The alluring factor, its synchronization and its “true to itself” nature. The fact that the importance of sopping up good morals was emphasized unrecognized. In this generation, people hate giving good attention to morals and values. Unless being held by the truth they know and left with no room for escape but embrace positive change.

    # WHAT DID YOU LIKE MOST?

    I liked that Coza comprehended change despite the past odds experienced and made a turn for the positive. Thereby, breaking the jinx whatsoever.

    # WHAT MOST CAUGHT MY ATTENTION?

    Its versatility.

    #WHAT I THINK THE WRITER DID, DIFFERENTLY?

    I think the writer would have written a little about what Coza experienced at Feltham’s young offenders institute that birth the change which led to his salvation experience and what happened next after Loreen’s outburst with Mr. Roshan leadings to her rejuvenation
    I was scared to honest, scared that she’d get him implicated or something 😁😂
    Yeah…. That’s all
    Thanks 🙏
    Meanwhile…..
    Ibibio: Isongo, Iyah! Isongo, Iyah! Isongo, Iyah!!
    Ibibio: Imanmado ooo… Iyaaah… Iyaii!!😂😂😂🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

  • Aniesua Essiett (Jnr) Posted July 28, 2020 1:19 am

    What worked well in the story line was the Vocabulary and the Rhythmic of the words Especially Paragraph 6 when the taught about her life and also Biology

    What did you like the most was how the story was going right from the beginning of how the were all warlord Coza and Loreen it was just in the blood of violence,I liked it when Mr. Roshan Dealt with Loreen and from that moment onward she changed and also when Coza gave his life to Christ after what happened to him in Feltham

    What Caught my attention the most was was how Brenda and Mr. Roshan was so selfless towards Loreen for her to be productive

    What I think the writer could have done differently is that the did not give us a clear view about their family history,the cause of Early Marriage and Child birth and even the absence of Coza Father

    Thank you

    • Sophia Akpan Posted July 28, 2020 8:17 am

      Nice one bro….

  • Aniesua Essiett (Jnr) Posted July 28, 2020 1:17 am

    What worked well in the story line was the Vocabulary and the Rhythmic of the words Especially Paragraph 6 when the taught about her life and also Biology

    What did you like the most was how the story was going right from the beginning of how the were all warlord Coza and Loreen it was just in the blood of violence,I liked it when Mr. Roshan Dealt with Loreen and from that moment onward she changed and also when Coza gave his life to Christ after what happened to him in Feltham

    What Caught my attention the most was was how Brenda and Mr. Roshan was so selfless towards Loreen for her to be productive

    What I think the writer could have done differently is that the did not give us a clear view about their family history,the cause of Early Marriage and Child birth and even the absence of Coza Father

    Thank you very much

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