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Let’s Try Rupesh

Tinashe looked at the invoice from the solicitors for the umpteenth time. The final figure showed £999.00. Why do they always do that? That’s a grand he thought. The last time he coughed out nearly a grand as well, still, no results. He had just finished meeting with the solicitor guy, Gary was his name. “The court says that she can’t be removed until the council provides a place for her. She can’t be homeless according to the law.”

“But what of my rent, what of the mortgage? Every month the money is leaving my account. I can’t tell the bank; you see my tenant is not paying the rent.”

“I perfectly understand Tinashe, but there is nothing we can do here. Unfortunately, that is the law. We just have to wait and see. As soon as the council provides a place for her, she will be out of the property.”

Tears welled up the eyes of Tinashe. For the past two years he has been going through this hell. Patricia had not paid a dime towards the rent. She has been living for free. Tinashe has been struggling. He was paying the mortgage of his rent-out-property and also paying the rent for the property he was currently occupying with his family. He did not do anything to stop the tears. They were hot and rolled freely down his cheeks.  How could he be paying for a lady to live free on his own property? This has ruined him financially.  He was also mentally drained.

Last time he stopped by at the property, he saw a man come out of the house to dispose the rubbish bag. The man was wearing shorts and sleeveless. His car was parked on the drive way alongside Patricia’s car. It felt as if a knife had been sent through his chest. In Nigeria, a proverb depicted this scenario perfectly “monkey dey work, baboon dey chop.”

Cherry opened the door to Tinashe’s study and saw her husband in tears. She went and brought him a glass of water, pulled up a chair and sat next to him. She looked at the desk and saw the invoice from the solicitors. She knew how hard they have tried to get this lady off the property legally and this was not working. It has always been one frustrating moment to another.

“Listen Cherry, I am ready for your suggestion.”

“Well I had told you what to do since and you kept insisting on this legal route. Where has it landed us. Every month – over 1200 pounds poorer. And any month the solicitor is involved, leaves even a further dent on the wallet. The lady knows the system and is acting up.”

“I know” Tinashe summed up.

The mortgage for that property is a little over 1200 pounds per month and since the lady stopped paying her rent of 1250 pounds, the Kupindas have been paying the mortgage. For two years now that was over twenty four grand. That was heart breaking and financially stripping.

Patricia was about to flush the toilet when she took a quick look inside the bowl and saw the little cobra peeking its lovely head out. She literally screamed the house down. Simpson dashed to the toilet and saw the king cobra’s head poking. The toilet was flushed repeatedly and the creature was still there. She slammed the toilet seat shut and they masked it.

Three days later, the creature came visiting again. This time around it was at the porch. Simpson was usually the first to leave the house in the morning. He had just opened the front door when the creature laid there staring at him. He darted back inside and shut the door. He went and used the kitchen door and came out through the side door to his car. He went to work and never came back to the property.

Patricia was next to leave for work with the kids and the creature was still rooted at the same spot. Immediately it sighted them, it rustled its head and majestically moved away to the garden brushes.

Patricia wet herself. She could not handle the sight of these creatures anymore. Her life was becoming a nightmare. By the time she came back from work, that night, she was in fear. She had called Simpson’s phone a zillion times and it was switched off. It wasn’t uncommon to have his phone switched off especially if he was working in an area where the reception was poor. But coming back home and not meeting Simpson’s car was the worst nightmare Patricia could have. She put the kids right back in her car and headed to her mum’s.

Simpson never returned the call, neither could he be reached on the phone. When the RSPCA people arrived and combed the place, there was so sign of the creature and interviews with neighbours yielded no result. They went back disappointed. Patricia was outraged that this creature when it was needed as an exhibit, just vanished.

Patricia returned to the house and that night the creature was right again in the toilet bowl. Patricia moved out of the property within the next twenty-four hours. Rupesh had been doing this for years. How he did it, no one knew. He had these creatures under his control and would send them anywhere and from a distance remote control them.

“I told you” Cherry said. “I had suggested this option to you way back but you wouldn’t listen.”


Uwem Mbot Umana©2018


  1. The story is quite interesting. But I must say that it is not very understandable to me. It seems a little bit jumbled up. Who is Rupesh? How did Patricia come to be living in the house? The legal aspects of the story is also not very clear, I find it hard to understand what really was going on and why Patricia didn’t leave the house.

  2. The story is quite intriguing from the beginning to the end.First one didn’t know on what terms Patricia got into that house and Rupesh remained a mystery figure that one did not know how it got into the picture and helped to solve problems in a manner unusual to mortals.Well my take in the end is that Patricia probably took advantage of either the naivete or the good nature of the kupindas who unfortunately got the wrong end of the stick from the ungrateful side of humanity.Cherry is the only one in the story who could explain the mystery of Rupesh but whether he is of Voodoo origin or divine origin there was something of a pleasant outcome in the story that suggests that if the kupindas indeed were a honourable couple that was a victim of ingratitude then the power of providence has a way of coming to succour such people

  3. Love this story so much! I love how you used contextless characters to add humour and excitement to this story! I laughed so hard at the end! Rupesh is bae! And cherry is the kind of wife I aspire to become 😂

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